Starting Anew
by Merqurius
Summary: Series of OneShots showing how 10.5 and Rose settle into their new life in Pete's world after the events of Journey's End with the help of Jackie Tyler. Some angsty, others fuffy.
1. Chapter 1

**Summary**: Series of OneShots showing how 10.5 and Rose settle into their new life in Pete's world (after the events of Journey's End) with the help of Jackie Tyler.

**Disclaimer**: I own very little of Doctor Who. Nothing, in fact. To be completely honest about it.

Starting Anew

Rose and Pete had departed for Torchwood early in the morning. She had offered him to come with her, but Pete had quickly vetoed that idea, because The Doctor had no means of identification yet. He didn't even have a name. However, his arrival in this parallel universe hadn't stopped the work at Torchwood and Rose had smiled regretfully at him that morning, but was then forced to leave. He had waved at her from the window, very domestic, but had allowed his smile to quickly fade away as soon as she was out of sight.

Ever since then, he had been sitting on the couch, watching Jackie Tyler bustle about the mansion and observing how Tony Tyler was playing with his toys just a few feet away. It didn't take long for his thoughts to turn back to the day in Norway, not so long ago.

_As soon as the TARDIS had faded out of sight, Rose had grabbed his hand and they had set off towards the nearest town. The Doctor had tried not to think about what had just happened, instead focusing his thoughts on the very present. They found a hotel just as evening fell. There was a moment of tension when the receptionist had asked whether Rose and The Doctor were sharing a room, while casting a meaningful look at their still united hands. Neither of them answered her immediately, until The Doctor broke the silence to say: "No, separate rooms please." Rose's relief was palpable. _

_At night, when all sounds had died away, it became much harder to keep his thoughts away from the events of that afternoon. The Doctor felt such anger when considering the way the other Doctor – The _Real_ Doctor, he kept thinking – had stranded them in this godforsaken place. It was an anger that was so ferocious that it almost scared The Doctor, if it hadn't been replaced by incredible fear mere moments later. _

_He had lost his identity. It was worse than regeneration. He hadn't died to start again, but had instead been robbed of half his being. The beating of his one heart seemed so loud and frightening in the night. Eventually, he fell into a light and fitful sleep, full of dark and confusing dreams that he didn't quite remember. He woke up only two hours later with Donna's name on his lips, though he couldn't say why his thoughts seemed to revolve around her just now. He hadn't dared to sleep again that night. _

Jackie was speaking to him. Her voice rudely woke him from his remembrances. Though he heard her talking, he didn't focus on the words, but stared blankly in front of him. Pete had picked them up the next day and had transported them home to London. Rose had given him the tour around the mansion and he'd been introduced to her little brother, Tony. He was a quiet boy, in that aspect not very much like his sister, as far as The Doctor could tell after the few days he had observed the child. Despite their differences, Rose obviously loved him and Tony admired her immensely. That admiration also extended to The Doctor, but in a lesser amount and from a distance. Tony almost seemed afraid of him sometimes and The Doctor couldn't blame him. He didn't trust himself around the boy. He was still much too angry.

The next day, he and Rose had gone shopping. She had found him a large, brown coat, just like the Real Doctor had had, but he had turned it down. The urge to separate himself from the other man was still too strong. Pete had promised to take care of all the paperwork and that is why he and Rose had left this morning. However, they couldn't fabricate a life for him in just a day. Most of it, he had to built from scratch. Pete had offered him a job at Torchwood, but The Doctor hadn't even considered it. The life of aliens and space was dead to him now. He had to think of a new purpose for himself. What he wanted to be and what he wanted to do.

His relationship with Rose also had to begin anew. The connection between them was still obviously there, but it was mixed with awkwardness and fear from both sides. They stayed in different rooms and hadn't kissed since that time at the beach. The Doctor found he didn't mind. Talking to her, laughing with her allowed him to forget his current situation for just a moment. However, now he was alone for the day, that loneliness seemed so much more severe.

"Are you listening to me?" Jackie Tyler frowned at him. She went to stand in his line of vision, hands on her hips.

He met her eyes. "Sorry?"

She sighed, but made no attempt to slap him. Good. "I was saying," she started over with emphasis, "that I'm going out to the shops for a moment and that you'll have to watch Tony in the meantime."

His eyes flickered to the toddler for a second. "What?"

"I'm not repeating myself again." Her voice gained a dangerous edge and The Doctor unwittingly leaned away from her.

"Can't you take him with you? Or send one of the staff to do it?" He protested. Hadn't she heard the Real Doctor when he'd talked about genocide? Why on earth would she leave her child with a man whom she knew was a killer?

"Doctor, you're living with Tony in this house, you'll have to learn how to watch and interact with him. I'll only be gone for thirty minutes and I'll have my cell phone with me, in case you need anything." Her voice was resolute, but, taking in his worried expression, her face softened slightly and she added: "You'll be fine."

She didn't give him another chance to protest and was out of the door within minutes, leaving a deafening silence. The Doctor turned his eyes back to Tony. The boy was small and slight with dark blonde hair and blue eyes that reminded him of Rose. His disposition was calmer and more serious, much like Pete, but he also shared Rose's ability to be happy and content. It wouldn't surprise The Doctor if he would demonstrate her sense of empathy later in life.

The boy apparently felt The Doctor's gaze upon him and looked up, meeting his eyes for a second. The Doctor quickly averted his own. He wasn't supposed to be left alone with this child. What if he became impatient? What if he flew into a rage and did something? Rose would never forgive him. And he would never forgive himself. He cursed Jackie Tyler and her bad judgement.

The next few minutes The Doctor spent staring in front of him again, until he felt a small hand tuck at his sleeve, startling him out of his reverie. Little Tony Tyler was standing in front of him and deposited a book on his lap. "Read. Please?"

His r's still sounded much like w's, as is often the case with small children, but the boy's politeness struck The Doctor. He decided on a whim to reward it. Taking the book, he waited until Tony had settled on the couch next to him and started to read. It was a simple children's book about a boy who wanted to visit the moon and built a ladder to get there. The Doctor refrained, albeit with difficulty, from pointing out the obvious flaws in this plan.

When he finished the last page and closed the book, which had ended well and not with a tragic death due to a lack of oxygen, Tony looked up at him once more and spoke: "Again?"

"Again?" The Doctor questioned. "The same book?"

"Yes."

"Is it your favourite?"

A small, shy nod.

"That's okay. I have my favourites. Moon landing in 1969. Been there at least six times. The inauguration of President Obama. The first Olympic games. Can't get enough of all those things." The Doctor told him, feeling a familiar grin tuck at the corners of his mouth. He surprised when the pang of regret he anticipated at these memories, stayed away.

Tony remained silent and opened the book again. The Doctor started reading. When they finished it for the second time, he said to Tony: "I've been to the moon too, you know. Not with a ladder, mind you, but with a space ship. Did Rose tell you?"

Tony nodded enthusiastically. "With the TAR ... the TAR..."

"The TARDIS." The Doctor supplied. "Can you say TARDIS?"

"TARDIS." Tony repeated after a moment of hesitation.

"Good!" The Doctor praised him. "You'll be saying 'Raxacoricofallapatorius' in no time, just like your sister. Well, I say 'no time', but it actually took her quite a while."

"I always thought that role suited you best."

The Doctor whirled around and saw Jackie Tyler leaning against the doorpost. He shut the book on his lap quickly and wondered how long she'd been there. "What role?"

"The role of a teacher. I always thought you'd made a good teacher," she elaborated. "Mind you, for children a bit older. Tony's a little too young to be learning about Raxa-what's it yet! But you'd be great as a teacher of history or English. Something that required you to use that gob of yours."

Before he had a chance to reply, she disappeared into the kitchen with her shopping. Tony trailed after her, leaving The Doctor alone on the couch again. A teacher. It had never entered his mind, nor, he was sure, the mind of the Real Doctor. Rose would probably be surprised by the idea. But when Tony Tyler returned after a few minutes, this time with a different book, The Doctor reckoned it was a possibility he was willing to entertain.

As they began to read the new book – another one of Tony's favourites, as he later learned – The Doctor mused that starting anew wasn't always bad. The one adventure he could never have before was suddenly right in front of him. He would just have to gather a new list of favourites for himself along the way.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary**: Series of OneShots showing how 10.5 and Rose settle into their new life in Pete's world (after the events of Journey's End) with the help of Jackie Tyler.

**Disclaimer**: I own very little of Doctor Who. Nothing, in fact. To be completely honest about it.

Starting Anew – Chapter 2

The Doctor jerked awake at his desk with a gasp. A quick glance at the clock told him it was two at night. Apparently he'd fallen asleep, despite his best efforts not to. And yet again, he'd startled awake from a nightmare, with Donna's name clamouring through his mind. Ever since he'd arrived in Pete's world, the memory of her was torturing him. So much, in fact, that he'd refrained from sleeping at all. That was why he was still sitting at the desk of his new room in the Tyler mansion, dressed in the sweats and black shirt Rose had bought for him to sleep in, but with no intention of ever stepping into bed.

The Doctor turned the lamp on his desk on and grabbed a pen. He took a scrap of paper and started writing.

_Donna Noble_

_Biological metacrisis_

After a moment of thought, he added:

_Time Lord brain in a human body. _

There was something he wasn't seeing. The Doctor stared at the last words on the paper, mulling them over in his head. Time Lord brain in a human body. He shook his head. Impossible Donna. There had never before been such a metacrisis. He'd never even considered the possibility, because it could never work. A Time Lord brain in a human body was something unthinkable, yet Donna had pulled it off.

Then his single heart seemed to stop. It was impossible. It was unthinkable and he had always known that. That was why her name had been echoing around his head for the past few days, because a part of him knew this wasn't right! Donna couldn't live like this. Within seconds, The Doctor made the connection and drew the conclusions. His counterpart, The Real Doctor, had to take the memories from Donna. He had to take it all away, or she'd die.

He crumpled up the piece of paper and threw it across the room, before covering his face with his hands. It suddenly seemed several degrees colder. Fantastic Donna. Special Donna. Best temp in Chiswick. He felt so lonely without her. Knowing that she wasn't with him in this universe had been hard these last few days, but the realisation she didn't exist like he'd known her in the next, was a crushing burden. His thoughts turned to The Real Doctor, who now was more lonely than he was. For the first time, the rage he felt when confronted with the memory of the other man, turned to pity. However, the Real Doctor still had the TARDIS. He still had all of time and space. Perhaps he'd find someone.

He himself, on the other hand, was stuck here and he'd never felt more of a prisoner. He wasn't even able to check on Donna to see how she fared, back in her old life. Just when this newfound isolation started to become unbearable, The Doctor heard the door to his room open slowly. He whirled around to face the intruder.

"You're not sleeping," Jackie Tyler observed, taking in The Doctor at his desk and the lit lamp. She stood on his doorstep, dressed in her pyjama's, peering at him through the sparsely lit room.

"Neither are you." It was the best he could come up with.

"Tony had had a nightmare. Woke me up. He's gone back to sleep, though. And then I saw the light in here," she told him.

"I just woke up as well. Was going to go back to bed in a moment," The Doctor lied lightly.

She scrutinized him, before remarking: "Funny, do you always make the bed when you wake up in the middle of the night?"

The Doctor followed her gaze and also stared at the neat covers of his bed. "As a matter of fact, I do."

She wasn't buying it. "There are bags underneath your eyes, Doctor. You're exhausted, I can see it. My guess is that you haven't slept properly ever since you came here." She advanced further into his room and closed the door behind her. When The Doctor didn't respond to her accusations, she ordered: "Get into bed."

He raised his eyebrows at her, clearly not inclined to obey. He was not sure if he was amused or offended by her attempt to treat him as one of her kids.

"Now, Doctor, or I'm waking Rose. I'll bet she's interested in hearing the reason why you've not been sleeping."

It was a low blow, The Doctor thought, but it gave him no choice but to obey her. Reluctantly, he pushed his chair back and laid down underneath the pristine covers of the bed, but not before aiming a dirty look in her direction. Jackie grabbed the chair he'd vacated only seconds ago and settled next to him. The Doctor barely suppressed a sigh.

"So tell me, why are you keeping awake?"

The Doctor rested his head on the pillow and stared upwards. The both of them let the silence endure. One minute. Two. The Doctor listened to the clock ticking above the desk. Three minutes. Suddenly that anger he'd been feeling the past few days flooded back. He turned his eyes to Jackie, who was still waiting patiently. "You wouldn't understand. You would never grasp what happened if your friend was destroyed by the after-effects of a Time Lord biological metacrisis that would either cause her brain to expand and make her burn or force me, I mean _him_, to kill her myself. Take her memories away, wipe it all from her mind. Have you any idea what it's like to have that on your conscience, Jackie Tyler?"

She was silent for a moment, surprised by his outburst, before speaking quietly: "This friend of yours, was it Donna? The nice lady I met on the TARDIS?"

His anger dissipated as quickly as it had appeared. He strangled a sob and when he spoke again, his voice was slightly horse. "Yes, that was her." He swallowed. "The Other Doctor, The _Real_ Doctor had to wipe her memories. Her human brain could never handle the mind of a Time Lord. It would kill her. So now she's probably back with her mother and grandfather, thinking she's nothing special. Living her old life without ever knowing how bloody important she was!"

"I'm sorry." She meant it, he could hear it in her voice.

"And you know what's worst? It's my fault. She gave me life, she made me grow from that hand and in return, I took her life from her." He peered at Jackie in the semi-darkness of the room and laughed humourlessly. "And you know my first act as a human being? I committed genocide. My way of thanking her was by murdering a whole species."

"The way I remember it was that you attempted to save our lives."

The Doctor clenched his hands into fists. "Don't you get it? I'm bad. Something went wrong when I was created. That's why the Real Doctor left me her. And that's why it's my fault Donna lost her memories."

"First of all," Jackie began sternly and he fell silent. "Stop calling him 'The _Real_ Doctor'. You're equally real." He snorted, but she ignored him. "And second of all, give Donna some credit."

"What?"

"You'd die for her, right?" She questioned and after his immediate nod: "Why can't you imagine she'd do the same for you? Don't you think your friendship meant equally much to her?"

"It's not the same," The Doctor responded bitterly. "She had so much to live for."

"It's not over for her. She isn't dead." She silenced him with a hand gesture when she saw he was about to speak. "She isn't. She still has a chance of happiness, Doctor. And yes, it's alright to mourn the fact that she has lost that previous existence. But it's not alright to believe it is your fault. Besides, you have plenty to live for. You have Rose." Her eyes widened suddenly. "This is why you refuse to get close to her, right? Why you don't want to share a room? Because you think you're bad?"

"Rose isn't ready," he protested, ignoring her last statement. "And I'm not _him_. I'm just an echo." He remembered calling his daughter, Jennie, that. It surprised him how much the words hurt and he appreciated how much pain they'd caused her back then.

"She doesn't want _him_," Jackie argued. "She wants you. And she was ready the moment she kissed you on that beach."

The Doctor sighed, unable and too tired to counter her logic. Her words, however made him feel slightly better.

"You need to sleep," She told him, her voice leaving no room for protest. But she made no attempt to leave his room.

He stared at her. "I can't sleep when you're staring at me."

"Tough," Jackie said, not meaning it at all. "Forgive me I'm not taking your word that you'll actually sleep tonight. I prefer to make sure. Close your eyes."

He glared at her, but recognized she had a good point. Remembering her earlier threat, he reluctantly obeyed her command. When he felt her hand stroking the hair from his forehead, he almost opened his eyes again. But after a few seconds, he got used to it and relaxed slightly. It was a very maternal gesture, reminding him of things long gone. Within moments, he was soundly asleep.


	3. Chapter 3

Rose had told him it would be _fun_ when a few friends The Doctor had made at his teaching course, had invited them along to the pub. And she'd been right, at first. The evening had started well enough. Too bad it couldn't end on the same note for him. Feeling another wave of vomit making its way to his mouth, he bent back over the toilet just in time.

"I take it you've had a good time tonight?" The Doctor hadn't heard the bathroom door opening, but Jackie Tyler's voice now ran unmistakably through the quiet house. "You've overdone it a bit, perhaps?" She took in his rather pale complexion and generally dishevelled appearance. "Too much to drink?"

He glared at her, leaning heavily on the toilet bowl with both arms. Jackie had clearly just woken up, while he himself hadn't even had the time to change into his pyjamas yet. "Time Lords don't get drunk."

Jackie snorted. "I'm sure they don't. How much have you had?"

"Well, we started with some beers," The Doctor started mock cheerfully. "I lost count after my ninth. And then someone offered me some wine. I quite like wine, actually. Sophisticated drink. Becomes nicer with each glass, you know." Just in time, he turned his head back towards the toilet bowl and threw up once more.

"And Rose didn't tell you you'd had enough?" Jackie wondered out loud, taking in his hair that was plastered to his forehead and the rumpled suit he was still wearing. He really did look miserable. "And didn't Pete and I warn you about drinking too much?"

He ignored her last comments. He wasn't her child, after all, and he refused to be treated like it. "I said to Rose: 'Time Lords don't get drunk.' She didn't believe me. Told me to prove it. So I did."

"I bet she was impressed," Jackie said, unable to keep the sarcasm out of her voice.

"She was, actually," The Doctor replied, missing her sarcasm completely and wiping his mouth with a disgusted expression on his face. "I didn't get sick until we got back here."

"Speaking of Rose, where is she?" Jackie found it hard to believe that her daughter had been so callous as to leave The Doctor alone in this state, even if he did have it coming.

"She's sleeping."

He avoided her eyes, which led to her questioning him further. "Didn't she want to help?"

The Doctor suddenly looked vaguely embarrassed. "She went to bed straight away. I was about to join her, when this ..." he gestured to the toilet bowl. "happened. I didn't want to wake her."

"Why not?" Jack asked incredulously. "She'd want to know! You've spent years taking care of her, Doctor, she really wouldn't mind reversing the roles for once. I'll wake her for you, it's her day off tomorrow anyway."

"No!" The Doctor made an attempt to get up, but swayed on the spot, evidently dizzy. Jackie rushed forward and took his arm to make him sit down again.

"Why not?"

He hesitated, still not looking her in the eye properly. "Because ... because Time Lords don't get drunk!"

"Yes, so I've heard," Jackie snapped. She glanced at her watch. It was just about three pm. "And if you're going to say that one more time, I'll remind you that you're not too old for a slap. It's way too early in the morning to listen to your drunken ramblings."

"No," The Doctor responded impatiently. "No, you don't get it. _Time Lords_ don't get drunk." He paused momentarily, before stating quietly. "And I got drunk."

Jackie needed a few seconds to comprehend what he'd just said. When she did, she slapped him on his arm. He looked up at her, affronted. "You plum! I've told you before, Rose doesn't want you to be a copy of _him_. She doesn't want a Time Lord. She wants you, even though you do get drunk and act like an idiot sometimes." She put her hand on his back and felt him shaking slightly. He still looked miserable, not quite believing her. She hated seeing him so defeated.

"Please don't wake her, Jackie. I'll be alright." He swallowed with some difficulty. "I'll just sleep in my own room tonight. She doesn't need to know."

She nodded, giving in. "Let me get you a glass of water from the kitchen first. Get that nasty taste out of your mouth." She stroked his back once and got up, leaving the bathroom as he nodded gratefully.

A few minutes later, the door to the bathroom opened again. The Doctor was back to dry heaving at that point and didn't look up to see the person coming in. When a hand brought a glass of cold water to his lips, he drank hungrily, but as he identified the person holding the glass, he quickly pulled away.

Rose sat down next to him on the floor, pretending that she hadn't noticed how he'd startled. She wiped his brow with a cold cloth and then placed it on the back of his neck. He closed his eyes, enjoying the water of the cloth cooling him down and feeling slightly less nauseous for the first time in several hours.

"I remember the first time I got smashed," Rose said softly. "Mum was livid. Woke up all the neighbours by screaming at me in the middle of the night. You got off lightly! I'm surprised she didn't slap you silly!'

"You know what? So am I," he replied with a smile, before his expression turned more serious. "Rose, I'm sorry. Really, you can go back to bed if you like."

She looked offended by his suggestion and instead handed him the glass of water again. She leaned with her back against the bath tub and allowed him to lay against her, his head on her shoulder.

He laughed as she told him the story of how she'd arrived home that one night, drunk, and how Jackie had screamed herself horse, especially when Rose had made the situation that much worse by throwing up on her mother's shoes.

Eventually, he felt well enough to leave the bathroom. Rose wouldn't hear of him going back to his old room and took him with her to the bed they'd been sharing for several weeks now. When The Doctor woke up the next morning, he smiled, in spite of the headache that was threatening to split open his skull. Rose hadn't said once; "I told you so." Carefully and tentatively, he started believing that they might be right for each other after all.


End file.
